“If you care enough to complain…then you care enough to do it yourself.”
Last night, in conversation with a friend, both of us happily married, I offered my personal take on intramarital boundaries.
My friend then suggested that I write a book on marriage. Ah, well, what blogger hasn’t thought of writing a book? Certainly not this one.
But really, a book? Who’s got the time? Or the know-how? Or Connections? Again, not yours truly.
I blog instead. For myself. Because it makes me feel better. Because I like to.
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I don’t like to be complained at.
I also don’t like to complain at others.
It’s really that simple. Joined, these form a foundational interpersonal policy for me. I won’t complain at you, and I expect you to reciprocate.
Ergo my phrase, “If you care enough to complain, you care enough to do it yourself.”
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I was sharing that my wife and I adopted this as one of our working mottos many years ago, and that it has served us well.
She and I figured out which parts of the household each of us would prefer to run, and that was that.
My bride doesn’t say anything if there are Bengal tigers hiding in our unmowed lawn, and I don’t say a word if she happens to miss one of her chosen areas of responsibility.
Now, let me be clear – we both believe in respecting and helping one another. That means that I often do the dishes or cook something for dinner. We’ve got 4 kids. Be reasonable. Something’s going to get missed during the day.
But that being said, I don’t complain if she’s missed something, and she affords me the same courtesy.
That’s all. Courtesy. I know what my job is, and I’ll get to it as soon as reasonably possible.
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Well. That’s it. If I was going to write a book called, “How to Get Along with Your Wife,” my first chapter would be on personal boundaries, with a strong emphasis on love, courtesy, respect and kindness.
Let’s see how this post plays in the press. If it gets some traction (or heck, proboably even if it doesn’t) I’ll offer another bite-sized tip on the topic.
Maybe one day, my book offer will arrive in the mail and I will be whisked away on a cloud of Skittles.
Until then, sayonara and vaya con Dios.
Thanks for coming,
Alex
